Since I spent my teenage years in the 80s, I spent a lot of time listening to Phil Collins/Genesis. As I am trying to wake up and get my butt in gear this morning, the lyrics of Mr. Phil Collins are coming to mind:
Well you can tell ev'ryone I'm a down disgrace
Drag my name all over the place.
I don't care anymore.
You can tell ev'rybody 'bout the state I'm in
You won't catch me crying 'cos I just can't win.
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore
I don't care what you say
I don't play the same games you play.
All my friends that know me, know that I claim Buddhism as my religion of choice. And I know I'm supposed to be all Zen. I meditate. I try to infuse positive energy into the universe. I am an activist for tolerance and diversity. I try to keep mindful and make decisions based on the four noble truths:
the truth of suffering
the truth of the cause of suffering
the truth of the end of suffering
the truth of the path that frees us from suffering
However, some days I fall short of being the Dalai Lama's mini-me and find myself being just a standard human being feeling pissed off. Today would be one of those days. I'm just so tired of everybody else's opinion of me and who I should be. I'm just me. I don't hurt anybody. In fact, I'll go out of my way to try not to hurt another person. But I really just don't like being expected to conform to somebody else's idea of what I should be to meet their own agenda. I'm me. Plain and simple. Like me or don't. Accept me or don't. I don't care anymore.
